While writing the book on Platt National Park, I came across a few strange laws in the new reservation. It was illegal to:
•Tie your mule to a living tree,
•Wash your feet in a spring,
•Take more than 1 gallon of water daily from the springs,
•Fish in the creeks,
•Swim in Travertine Creek,
•Drive your wagon faster than a walk across Washington Bridge,
•Harass squirrels,
•Graze your cow.
•Some of the state’s oddest statutes rarely enforced* Remember the time your co-worker was arguing with her husband? Well, you broke the law in Oklahoma if you listened with intentions of repeating the conversation to hurt her.
And if you swore while watching the Cowboys or Sooners on Saturday, you subjected yourself to a $1 fine, according to state statutes.
“Nobody’s enforcing them, so nobody is really affected by them and nobody’s going to the Legislature and asking them to be removed,” said Robert Thompson, an attorney for the state Tax Commission. “Nobody sits down and goes through the books and says, ‘What do we not need?’” Most of the laws thought weird today were written years ago with some meaning, attorneys said. The Legislature meant to protect someone or something when the laws were enacted. Even the dead are protected. You can’t purchase a dead body in Oklahoma and displaying for profit human remains previously buried is a misdemeanor.
That law would have helped outlaws like train robber Elmer McCurdy, whose corpse traveled for decades with carnivals and even appeared in an episode of the “Six-Million-Dollar Man.” Gunned down by a posse in 1911 in Osage County, McCurdy was embalmed in arsenic and his body displayed in sideshows. That was until 1976 when it was discovered that the body was more than a prop.
In case you’re angry because you can’t start a human remains business, don’t swear if a woman or a child under the age of 10 is around -- that can get you sent to jail in Oklahoma, Oklahoma Highway Patrol Lt. Pete Norwood said.
If you needed a drink this Labor Day weekend and you’re in Seminole, you would have had to drive a few miles to Shawnee. In Seminole County, like Garfield, Kingfisher, Logan, Noble, Payne and Pittsburg counties, the sale of mixed drinks is banned on the holiday.
And don’t use blasphemy -- ever. Words against Jesus, the Bible or anything under the cross is a misdemeanor, according to Chapter 36, Section 901 of the state’s crime and punishment statutes.
A North Carolina law has been on the books more than 100 years called Alienation of Affection. It dates back to when women were treated as the husband’s property and allows a person to sue if his wife is taken away.
Lawsuits filed under the law a couple times a year and settles about 10 yearly. Settlements of up to $2 million have come from the affection law. Although Oklahoma does not have this, North Carolina does, like all states, have the breech of promise law that allows the broken hearted to sue runaway brides and nervous grooms.
“It’s very tricky to clean up the books.”
Which may explain why in Washington a salesperson can’t use an X-ray while fitting a customer with a shoe, said Vince Megna, a Wisconsin attorney who has written about the legal system. Megna said the law was written because 50 years ago, shoe sellers would X-ray feet to measure them. When radiation problems were discovered, the law was written and is still on the books.
In Wyoming, you can’t shoot fish. In Oklahoma, you can’t do that either, but you can sure thrust your hand down a dark watering hole and pull out a catfish.
In a Washington town, motorists with criminal intentions must call the police chief as they enter the town.
“Due to its sheer stupidity ... the law has affected nothing,” Megna said.
Megna said many states have laws dating back to statehood that have been overlooked. He said some laws being passed today will look ridiculous in 50 years.
Some laws may seem silly but have serious reasons behind them, said Cynthia Armstrong, Oklahoma’s program manager for the Humane Society of the United States. In Oklahoma and some other states, it’s illegal to wrestle a bear.
Don’t count on seeing a horse tripping event, either. Chapter 67, Section 1700 of Oklahoma law prevents that.
Those laws were passed about 10 years ago in response to several animal abuse cases. In a south Oklahoma City bar, people were drugging, declawing and defanging bears and wrestling them.
And throughout the state, people were using rope to trip running horses for entertainment, an event that worked its way up from Mexico, Armstrong said.
“It was an important victory,” she said of the laws. Other recent bills weren’t lucky enough to grow into laws. One about five years ago would have made it mandatory for a barbecue restaurant to give cloth napkins to patrons.
There also was a recent bill that would have allowed cockfighting as long as the roosters don miniature boxing gloves and vests.
Both bids failed. Norwood, of the highway patrol, said it would be nearly impossible for police to arrest and district attorneys to prosecute every offender of obscure laws.
“Rarely can you walk around and not hear a cuss word in front of a woman or a child,” he said. “Because of today’s society, it’s a little bit more lenient about things compared to our grandparents’ generation. You didn’t dare cuss in public or even go outside without a hat on.”
Other odd laws, In Oklahoma, it’s illegal to: -Bet on elections -Communicate with a convict unless given permission by a warden -Throw human waste at a governmental employee -Use blasphemy -Purchase a dead body -Display for profit human remains previously buried -- a misdemeanor -Burn a cross -Follow emergency vehicles to disaster areas -Stop an emergency phone call *(Some information in this article was written by Chad Previch, September 5, 2006.)
